I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. Holding myself up to high standards; beating myself up for not hitting those high standards every so often. Trying to give all of myself to everything I do. Struggling to keep up with everything I committed myself to because saying “No” was difficult. It’s a path fraught with self-flagellation and heartache, where there is no forgiving oneself.
When I was younger, it was common for me to blame myself for everything bad that happened to me. Twisted my ankle and tore a ligament? I was walking too fast, what was I thinking! Did badly on an exam? I was too dumb. Relationship broke down? I must have done something wrong of course. And so on. I was always upset with myself for something, forever finding fault around something I did – or did not do. Rarely forgiving.
Why is it easier to forgive others who might have hurt us, but really hard to forgive oneself for even unintended offences? Why are we so much more critical of our own selves, than we are of others? Is it really so difficult, or do we just not want to acknowledge the fact that we are ordinary people who make mistakes?
Forgiving oneself is a necessary part of self-love and acceptance. It is an important aspect of emotional wellness. I’m still working on my capacity to forgive myself; I struggle with it at times. Hopefully, will get there someday…
Some of my earlier posts:
The Importance of being Content