F for Forgiving Oneself #AtoZChallenge #BlogchatterA2Z

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. Holding myself up to high standards; beating myself up for not hitting those high standards every so often. Trying to give all of myself to everything I do. Struggling to keep up with everything I committed myself to because saying “No” was difficult. It’s a path fraught with self-flagellation and heartache, where there is no forgiving oneself.

When I was younger, it was common for me to blame myself for everything bad that happened to me. Twisted my ankle and tore a ligament? I was walking too fast, what was I thinking! Did badly on an exam? I was too dumb. Relationship broke down? I must have done something wrong of course. And so on. I was always upset with myself for something, forever finding fault around something I did – or did not do. Rarely forgiving.

Why is it easier to forgive others who might have hurt us, but really hard to forgive oneself for even unintended offences? Why are we so much more critical of our own selves, than we are of others?  Is it really so difficult, or do we just not want to acknowledge the fact that we are ordinary people who make mistakes?

Forgiving oneself is a necessary part of self-love and acceptance. It is an important aspect of emotional wellness. I’m still working on my capacity to forgive myself; I struggle with it at times. Hopefully, will get there someday…

 

Some of my earlier posts:

A for Anxiety 

B for Balance in Life

The Importance of being Content

 

13 thoughts on “F for Forgiving Oneself #AtoZChallenge #BlogchatterA2Z”

  1. I think it’s not bad to blame ourselves then blaming others for their wrongdoings. It helps us to learn something from any incident. Forgiving others for their wrongdoings makes us easy to move forward in life. Anyway, well written and enjoyed it.

    1. Forgiving others is good, but I’m not sure how blaming ourselves instead of blaming others is helpful.

  2. Self-forgiveness is critical to well-being—but it needs to be balanced with responsibility-taking, when appropriate. The ability to forgive ourselves for mistakes, large and small, is critical to psychological well-being. Difficulties with self-forgiveness are linked with suicide attempts, eating disorders, and alcohol abuse, among other problems.

  3. It is so important to forgive ourselves. It is an important component of self-love. Even I struggle sometimes with it.
    I liked the candid and honest way in which you wrote the post.

  4. Usually, we are very critical of our mistakes. So, we beat ourselves up. But that doesnt help much, in fact, it worsens things around us. So yes, as you rightly mentioned, we need to forgive ourselves and for that we need to acknowledge mistake, feel appropriate remorse and learn from it so it doesnt happen again.

  5. yes, its true that for any situation we always blame ourselves but I didnt think in that way…I thought I have option to forgive others but do I forgive myself too? Good post.

  6. It is so so important to forgive yourself. Sometimes I cannot come to terms to not able to workout and keep feeling bad about how I could not make time. Nice post.

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